Desperate Hauswives

Claudia Elena Rodriguez sits down with the band having fun with fandom.

Fiona Grey and Celeste Taucher (f.k.a. Talker) started Desperate Hauswives as a joke between roommates in quarantine after binge watching the aughts-era Desperate Housewives, the campy prime time network soap opera that catapulted Eva Longoria and Felicity Huffman to fame. Now, the Desperate Hauswives have released their first EP, Welcome to The Lane with tracks inspired by the show like ‘HOT FOR MIKE’ named for Mike Delfino (played by James Denton) and ‘ANOTHER DEAD HUSBAND’ about…any of them, take your pick, maybe Mike Delfino (sorry, spoiler).

Outside of Wisteria Lane, Celeste has been gearing up to release her debut solo album as Talker titled ‘I’m Telling You the Truth’ releasing singles for ‘Old Enough’ and ‘twentysomething’. Fiona is set to release the first single off her debut album on May 15th. They never stop. Why would they want to? As they told me, they’re having too much fun.

Last month, I sat down in the backyard of their Studio City home to talk about this band born of suburban absurdity.

CER: How long have you two known each other? 

FS: We tell this story differently on how we met.

CT: Why?

FS: I like to add that I met you in assless chaps. Because I think that adds to the story.

CT: So far we’re on the same page.

FS: I opened for a band that she was in, Friendship, in Chicago. And I was wearing gold assless chaps and she was probably thinking that I was, like, nuts.

CT: [After Chicago] we kept in touch the way one does. In life, in music, in LA. Then, we’ve lived together for five and a half years.

FS: She was only supposed to stay for a month and it kept getting extended. Now we’re five and a half years later.

CER: What’s going on with your solo projects?

CT: My debut record as Talker is coming out June 21st. I’ve been putting out singles. I put out a song called ‘twentysomething’ in October. A song called ‘Drag Your Feet’ in December. 

FS: My album comes out in September. The first single will come out in April. I’ve got six singles before the album. The album’s gonna be 14 songs. We went together when I did the album in Rome. She came out to help me with it. It was our Lizzie McGuire Movie moment.

CER: What’s the Erewhon smoothie order?

FS: I hate how good the Hailey Bieber Strawberry Glaze is. But normally because I’m not on a spend-$20-on-a-smoothie budget, I do the peanut butter one and I add protein powder. [laughs] [Celeste] has more restraint than I do. 

CT: I’ve never had an Erewhon smoothie.

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CER: Do you think there’s something in the culture of LA that makes a project like this possible?

CT: Yes. Because everybody takes themselves way too fucking seriously. Nobody has any fun. Everybody’s depressed. And everyone who is making music is usually burned out on it. Ourselves included, on our own shit. And so I think it is refreshing to see people having fun.

FS: There was nothing intentional. At the beginning it was pure joy, pure silliness, pure having fun together. I think that’s why people have reacted the way they have. There was no thinking if people were going to love this because it’s based on Desperate Housewives or has this novelty element. 

CER: When did you start watching Desperate Housewives?

FS: During the pandemic. But we’d both watched it all the way through. 

CT: A long time ago.

FS: It’s one of those shows I could rewatch again and I’d still be surprised at things because the stuff that happens is so unreal.

CER: Is there any storyline that really sticks with you? 

CT: Katherine Mayfair. Used to live on Wisteria Lane back in the day. She had a young daughter named Dylan. Then she moved away, and at some point, a dresser fell on [Dylan] and killed her. Then she adopted a replacement child from a Romanian orphanage and also named her Dylan.

FS: That was insane. I also think the plane crash into the Christmas Village. Rest in peace, Karl. It looks like they animated this tiny little plane. Like it’s so camp. It’s very The Room. 

CER: Since you bring up Karl, who’s your favorite husband?

FS: Mike Delfino. Safe bet. All the male characters are so flawed except for Mike Delfino.

CT: Rex Van de Kamp. You know…RIP, unsung hero. He didn’t have a chance to become a favorite because he died in season one. He was, y’know, just an unhappy husband. 

CER: He just wanted a little BDSM. 

FS: And you know what…Don’t we all?

CER: What would your Big 3 in Zodiac be of the Housewives?

CT: I would say Gabby is my sun, Susan is my moon… My rising is cancer as well so even though I hate Susan… she’s gotta be my rising. 

CER: I can see a little Lynette rising. 

FS: You know what? Lynette Rising is a great song title. So thank you for that.

CER: Who’s more iconic? Teri Hatcher or Felicity Huffman.

CT: Felicity Huffman.

FS: Yeah.

CT: She went to prison.

CER: How would you define a Slut Era?

CT: I think a slut era is doing whatever you wanna do.

FS: Owning your sexuality.

CT: But whatever you wanna do. Like, if you don’t wanna be a slut…you’re still being a slut by doing what you wanna do.

FS: Like the energy of owning your shit. It could be your sexuality or it could be whatever.

CER: Who encapsulates slut era in that way on the show?

FS: Edie. I love her. I think she’s so real. 

CER: With a project like this what comes first, music or lyrics?

CT: I feel like we write them simultaneously but most songs we’ve had a title idea. 

FS: We wrote Hot for Mike first and it was just play. It was in the pandemic. We were watching Desperate Housewives. Mike Delfino is hot. We wrote the song. I have this vivid memory of walking to the liquor store and writing funny song titles based on the show. 

CER: There’s something early 2000s soundtrack about the EP. Like something you’d hear on The O.C. Was that intentional?

CT: We were listening to a lot of that when we were making it because it’s about tapping into that energy of nostalgia and enjoying it.

FS: I think [sonically] Bikini Kill meets the B-52s.

CT: PJ Harvey was a big inspiration when we were writing Another Dead Husband. But speaking of soundtracks, we were listening to the What a Girl Wants soundtrack. Things that have a 2000s girl-rock thing.

CER: What access point do you think there is through the music for people who might not be familiar with the show?

CT: We basically have another EP’s worth of material that we’re kinda getting ready. We have a song called Boy Joy which is a phrase we randomly coined on a trip with a few of our friends because…our friend had a lot of boy joy at the time.

FS: A lot of our friends have a lot of boy joy.

CT: We’re tapping into that childlike joy where it’s not even about not caring what anyone thinks but doing things because they bring you joy and are interesting to you. Not everything has to have an end point. I think the access point for people who don’t watch the show is that ethos of having fun and being silly. 

FS: A little bit of escapism. The people who like Desperate Housewives the show, at this point, are a rarity.

CER: Is there such a thing as being too niche?

CT: Maybe there could be a too niche, but I think that’s hard to hit. I think we have so much access with all the platforms that we have and the potential to reach so many people. I think when you get really niche, you do have an opportunity to access a wider pool of people. The people who are into that thing, great. And then the people who aren’t, it’s like this weird novelty.

FS: It’s absurdist in this weird way. It’s funny, we take parts of the show [as inspiration], and end up writing way crazier things that are completely true to the show that we would never naturally write into our songs.

CT: I think when you’re niche or when you have that absurdist flavor, it doesn’t matter what the niche is. When I watch Nathan For You, I don’t have a connection to any of the topics but I’m obsessed with how weird it is. Or I Think You Should Leave. I don’t know why these examples come to mind but I think it’s the humor that I connect with, not necessarily the storylines you tap into. 

CER: How much of this should be taken seriously? 

CT: The second it stops being fun I want to stop. I think we’re both at that level.

FS: It’s a project that has to live inside of play. If not, we're faking it. And that’s not what we’re ever going to do.

BOY JOY

SLUT ERA